Telling…

I was reading a few posts on Tommy’s site recently where he was talking about his cane and the posts resonated with me.

Every time I talk to a group of people about disclosure (of disability) their reactions are very different. And I got to thinking about my reactions. I get tired telling people. I have a spiel that I think makes me even sound tired talking about it. My disabilities are mostly invisible (if you’re not looking hard, or don’t know what to look for at least). I don’t hide them, but they are definitely more invisible. I do have a choice – I don’t have to tell. I could pass for able bodied. My disability is not revealed not by my body, there’s no ‘giveaways’ But because of the way this world is, for me to operate in it, I have to tell. And telling can be difficult or tiring, you are revealing personal information that people sometimes don’t know what to do with. Which can be awkward. But then so is a halfway existence. Sometimes, I wish it was it was told for me – that I had a cane. Or the hearing aids I had as a small kid which I wore in a little harness on my chest – 2 little pouches,  with 2 boxes, and long wires dangling out of them. But that’s only sometimes. More often, I wish it wasn’t necessary to make it obvious. That the way this world is, includes people like me a little more. I also wish that having been this person all my life, that I could talk about that one part of me more easily, so that we can get back to a conversation which all of me is in, not just my disability.*

So when disclosure comes up, I’m very concious of all the emotions and the difficulties that people may have. I also think that those who look for that information should think about what telling is, and how it would be to have to do it. All the time.

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*I don’t mean this as a ‘poor me’ piece, more as a reflective piece, based on my thoughts and feelings after reading Tommy’s posts.

 

Sharing?

I’m a pretty private person, but in workshops, in forums I’ve tried to get better at sharing, and its taken practice to figure out the boundaries. What’s useful, what’s too much, what’s keeping some privacy for me, and so on. But I know that I benefit (most of the time) from what other people share. Probably because its real, and, not general broad brush strokes. So I presume sharing my experiences has the same effect. I hope anyway.

Sharing isn’t always something we do easily but learning from others experiences can be so helpful. GET AHEAD was formed from people sharing their experiences and as more and more people with disabilities go to college, graduate, go to work, more people have stories to tell. But not just graduates with disabilities. All your stories are relevant, all have something that may be of use to another person, may just tell them that they aren’t the first person in this situation, or just that people get through difficult situations, or whatever. Does that mean we are willing to share our stories, knowing that they may help others? You read this blog – what are your stories? Would you be willing to tell me, other readers, your experiences of being a graduate looking for work, of being a graduate with a disability in work, whatever your stories of seeking employment are (as an employer, person with or without disability, person with or without job, an advisor, whoever you are). Would you share?

 

Who?

This blog isn’t meant to be a personal one where I talk about me me me, but I think it might be helpful if I shared a little about myself, just so you know where I’m coming from.

Right now I’m the co-ordinator of GET AHEAD (since last May (2008)) and prior to that, I worked on the WAM Project in AHEAD (Association for Higher Education Access and Disability). I’ve worked with AHEAD for several years now, doing some part time work while in college (on lots of different bits & pieces) and then, shortly after I (finally) finished my masters in 2006 I started to work full time here.

I’m a graduate of UCD (I’ve a BA (2004) & a Masters in Equality Studies (2006)) I spent at least half my time in college doing other things apart from studying - mostly students union related, but not all (c’mon, I was a student, but we’re not going there, this is a work blog after all). I was a Disability Rights Officer for UCD Students Union and then for USI (the Union of Students in Ireland) and these things combined with what I later studied are probably what led me to where I am today. I’m deaf & diabetic, I’ve been there, been a student and a graduate with a disability, but I know that my experience is just mine. I’ve worked not just for AHEAD, but elsewhere too – and all of it fairly recently. So, I’d like to think I understand some of the issues around the area of employment for students and graduates with disabilities, from personal experience and work experience. For more about me, this is a recent interview I did with the Irish Times.

I think things can be better, I think there’s much more to do, and much more to talk about. I want to talk about it here, with you.